direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
