we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
