I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
