Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
