Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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