FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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