This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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