I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
