I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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