Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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