I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
