Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
