her vagine was all disorganized.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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