Where is the hickey?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
