now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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