apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize