I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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