Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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