We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Holy shit dude........stairs
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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