Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
