I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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