i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
