What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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