he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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