why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?