Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
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Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though