you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
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I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
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It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.