I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Randomize
