I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
