I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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