i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
