FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
