we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
