doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
