bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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