Can Purell be used as lube?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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