I think im going to throw up on grandma
of course. lets lasso hookers.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
