all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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