It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
