Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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