Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
