I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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