no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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