question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
