I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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