yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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