I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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