I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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