He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
