I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
