No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
