can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
