Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
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Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
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currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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