Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
