His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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