Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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