her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
