hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize