I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
