She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
FUCK WHALES
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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