Too much gin, very little bucket
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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