Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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